Our ancestors wandered all their lives, and the last stop of their wandering was what we called our hometown.

When I saw my cousin’s words last night, I felt uneasy and quickly called my mother. I still got the news of my grandmother’s death. In her 90th year, my grandmother stopped and left peacefully.

During the Chinese New Year, my grandmother's health was already very poor, and it was even more worrying during May Day. Fortunately, I could still meet her for the last time. My grandmother died of illness and naturally aging. And I heard from my sister that she went there quickly, peacefully and without any pain. This made me feel a little more or less happy. An old man who was almost ninety years old could see the scene of children and grandchildren living together and four generations living together. There should be no regrets.

I don’t have too much interaction with my grandmother. My childhood memories are already blurred. When I grow up, I just met one or two times during the Chinese New Year. Logically speaking, my grandmother’s departure will not make me too sad. But after seeing my grandmother’s old look last time, I still cried when I got home. Maybe it was because I was mentally prepared last time. After learning about her departure, I did not show too much sadness. I still lived the same as usual, but I was actually a lot of dullness in my heart.

Grandma is a rural woman with little education. Grandma went there very early. Before I was born, she raised several children alone. Until now, Grandma still lives in that dilapidated small adobe brick house. She does not have much ability to give me material care, but every time she brings something she feels her care. Although I don’t say it, I always remember it in my heart.

To be fair, I think what we juniors do is not enough. My grandmother's children are busy making a living, and they only rush home to visit during the holidays. And the few relatives who are with my grandmother are the few relatives who still live in the countryside. I don't like to go to my grandmother's house to play. One reason is that that place is not interesting to me, and the other reason is that my grandmother can't take care of me. When I see my grandmother, I always feel inexplicably scared. Since childhood, I have been like this. In the past, I couldn't express it accurately. Now, I think that feeling is vicissitudes. My grandmother has accumulated too much pain over the decades. These times hit my thoughts and I can't bear it.

I called my mother, and it was my father's answer. It was almost a little bit. I could hear them not sleeping yet. Through the phone, I could feel the sad atmosphere there. I didn't hear my mother's voice. Maybe it was a good thing. I was already sad without my grandmother, but for her, I lost my dearest mother. If I talked to my mother on the phone, I might be at a loss.

My father said he wanted me to go back in a few days, but I didn’t want to wait that long. After all, I was not just going back for the funeral meal. I was her relative, so I had to integrate into it. It’s meaningless to say that children want to be filial but not to be with their parents. If I do it again, I won’t make any changes for this. What I can do is live a good life. If there is a spirit after death, she can also comfort her.

Grandma has reached the end of her wandering, and her story is truly over, but the stories of her descendants have not yet ended. This is our story, and our wandering will never end.

Grandma, I miss you
Chapter completed!