Chapter 1580 Sorry

"You have seen everything others are treating you and me just now! You are a human being, I am not a human being."

"You also said that you have a similar experience to me. If you are in our class, you are the kind of girls that I can't even envy? Everything is good, and someone is chasing me, the first-tier one. How do you understand me? Is it fake? It's fake? It's fake, it's fake."

Yi Xin was helpless to find that inside and outside her words, she was actually feeling a sense of "miserability". She could not allow anyone else to be more miserable than herself, and it was also sad to think about it carefully. It was precisely because she was inferior to others and was despised in the dust. The only thing that could make her stand ahead of others was that her campus life was more miserable than everyone else. So, she said that she had to defend this "leading advantage" in everything, how pitiful and sad it was.

"You don't know how I came here for so many years! I obviously did nothing wrong, but because of this face, everyone is regarded as a monster! I usually sit there in the class, and no one is offensive, and someone will suddenly come and hit me for no reason. Someone cut my hair, and they laughed behind me while cutting it!"

"When we do experiments in class, we have to group in groups. I will always be left behind! Every time! Every time! I will be left behind! Then the tutor will randomly call someone to be my partner, and the whole class is laughing at him, as if he is so bad that he has fallen!"

"I'm particularly unwilling to tell people about their names. Do you know, others will think, oh, you have such a virtue and call such a nice name, and they will be surprised. I have to endure the surprise once I report a name, so I really hate to report a name! I think my parents might as well give me a rusty name at the beginning! At least I don't have to make me so embarrassed again and again!"

"The first time I went to the club activity room, a few people were discussing and looking at the list, 'XXX (this is my name), I must be a beauty'. I knew it was not good when I heard it, and I really wanted to escape quickly!"

"Later, the president started to call me, and I answered. At first, because the voice was too light, no one heard it. The president ticked it again, and I raised my hand. The president confirmed that it was me and looked disappointed. Everyone in the whole club looked back at me and showed surprise. I felt so wronged. On the surface, I could only pretend to be indifferent. Then I will never go to the club again!"

"I don't follow the chronological order, so I will say whatever I think. Every time I say a few words to others, they look at me and frown. The disgust is like looking at a mentally ill patient who can attack at any time!"

"I would rather these people only look down on my appearance than they would dislike me in their souls just because of my appearance."

"I am humble, I have no backbone, but I have no capital to turn around and leave with pride."

"I have been disliked since I was a child! I was disliked! The boys in the class joked with each other and when they wanted to harm someone, they would say that they like me. They thought it was the most malicious insult. In their eyes, I was like a ball of dirty things that were beyond my reach! But how did I feel about it?"

"They would also deliberately push others over and hit me, and the other party's behavior was like a virus. After a few times, I was very scared, so when I saw that there was such a trend, I quickly avoided it. As a result, they still had something to say, and they smiled and said, "You see, even XXX despise you."

"When I was young, I was bullied and beaten by the boys in the class. Some people say that boys bully girls just to attract girls' attention, but I know it's not! That's really bullying! Bullying without pity!"

"There are also people who spit in my meal every noon, and I didn't dare to tell the tutor, so I had to be hungry day by day. One afternoon, I was so hungry that I squatted in the toilet and cried. I thought it was so aggrieved. Everyone was human, why was the only one living like this!"

"One time, there were a lot of people in the cafeteria. I just found a seat with the food. The boy opposite me told me directly, "Don't sit there, you're so ugly that you can affect my appetite."

"Once on an autumn outing, two students in the class were sitting in the same car. A boy in the back row suddenly called me. When I turned around, the classmate next to him was from the class next door. He looked at me and said: It was indeed ugly."

"Every New Year, I send New Year greetings to others, and the replies I receive are always 'Who are you'. These people have deleted me, or they have never saved my contact information from the beginning."

"Once I remembered it the most. When I was in the junior department, there was a girl in the grade who was pretty, beautiful, and very kind to people. She frowned when she saw me like everyone else. I asked her for contact information and she also gave her. At the beginning, we talked a few times, and I was trying to find topics and the communication was pretty good. She must know who I am."

"Later, we didn't contact each other for a while. When I greeted her, she also asked me who I was. I asked her, did you delete me? She said no, I never deleted the contact information. I mustered up the courage to say my name, but there was no reply from the other person."

"I just find it funny. She has never saved my contact information. I am a person like me, maybe others think it's annoying to lie on the friend list."

"I have felt countless times! I have felt countless times that if I could have a good-looking face, or at least a 'face that can be seen', my life would not be like this now!"

"I feel like I live like a piece of disgusting garbage. I feel sorry for others when I walk on the road now! I think I have dirty this street and dirty their eyes. I would have completely disappeared!"

"Every day I go to school, it feels like living in hell. I don't know what torture I will suffer when I go out every day. What kind of mood is I still have to study. And I am quite stupid. I don't have a good exam every time, and I ignore my classmates and I don't even want to teach me more!"

"I go home with an unqualified transcript, and my father will scold you. Why did you give birth to such an ugly thing? Everything is not good, you might as well die!"

"I am not the same as you! You say you are rejected because you are too good and others are jealous of you! But at least you are still a personal person in their eyes, a very powerful person. I am the one who is truly looked down upon by everyone and despised as a scum! I would rather not be born from the beginning! What am I doing when I am alive?"

"My youth, my dreams, and everything I have been ruined on this face! I will not deserve friendship, self-esteem and love in this life!!"

The more she talked about it, the more excited Song Panlei became, her shoulders trembled, and her breathing was extremely rapid. Until she typed the last line, she could no longer say it and lay on the table and started crying. Over the years, she had been so aggrieved.

After each sentence of her, there were many exclamation marks, and many places even occupied most of the screen. Sometimes she would even type out a series of "Ah!!", which was a desperate roar of despair.

But in reality, she couldn't say it or shout it out, because even if she vented, she felt that she was not qualified.

Yi Xin had to admit that her empathy was still too fragile after all. Compared with her, her experience was completely a slight witch. Just looking at the narrative, she could feel a strong feeling of sadness.

"Senior sister... there are only two of us here now, so just cry." Yi Xin returned to her side and sat down, gently patting her back, "It may be much better if she cried."

"Actually, you are really strong. You have experienced so much pain, but you are still kind. You neither want to take revenge on those people nor hate the world. You are still working hard to live, and when others give you a little warmth, you are willing to believe it again and again."

"You are willing to say so much to me, but you have never truly closed your heart. What you need is just someone who can be by your side, listen to your talk, and understand you. I am willing to be such a person, and I hope you can feel that you are still cared for and cared for."

Listening to her gentle comfort, Song Panlei cried even louder. Yes, she had been stumbling for so many years, and what she was looking for was that such a person would appear...

"Something..." Yi Xin carefully considered the words, "Although I don't think I should judge people by their appearance, I have to admit that this is the environment."

When she is just an ordinary girl, no matter how good she is in her studies, others will only regard herself as a nerd. Until recently she began to learn to dress up and become beautiful, and everyone's attitude towards herself was different. She experienced this change personally, so she knew that having a good-looking face can really make the whole life much smoother.

"So when we can't change other people's vision, we can only work hard to change ourselves. In fact, I still have a lot of things to work harder now. I hope we can accompany each other to become better people."

"A senior sister told me that running can exercise and increase self-confidence. I am already trying it now, and it is indeed useful. But... it is very tiring to run alone. Can we form a partner to run together?"

In this passage, she carefully avoided the saying of "loss weight" to avoid irritating Song Panlei again.

After talking and crying, Song Panlei's emotions really looked much better. She wiped her tears, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end she just dragged out the keyboard to type.

"But when I was a child, I was in poor health and kept taking medicine. It was a hormone, which was very difficult."

What she wanted to express should be "It's hard to lose weight if it's hormones. It seems that she has recognized ugliness, but fatness makes her feel inferior than ugly. Even when she communicates, she will deliberately avoid related words.

"And I have this kind of virtue. Unless I have plastic surgery, I will be helpless. Otherwise, I'd better forget it. You can chat with me normally." As she said that, she seemed to be depressed again.

Yi Xin thought about it and tried to persuade her from a different perspective: "Senior sister, then I'll say this, please hear if there is any reason."

"Since you feel... so painful that you can't survive, it means you feel that your current situation has reached the bottom, right? But at least this means that no matter how bad the situation is, it will not get worse! So as long as you are willing to work hard, you will definitely go up little by little. Since you already have... the determination to give up everything, can you make good use of this determination and create a better future for yourself?"

This is a bit more plain, that is, "I am not afraid of death, what else is there to be scary."

Song Panlei stared at her. From the eyes of the little girl in front of her, she didn't see disgust for the first time. Her eyes were clear, pure and full of kindness. Song Panlei began to believe that maybe she could really pull herself out of the abyss.

Even though she always talks about the darkness of life, if she really has the opportunity to make everything better, people will still be eager to seize it. Song Panlee now wants to believe in a miracle, perhaps the only miracle in her life.

There was still a little time left for lunch, so Yi Xin took Song Panlei to the playground to try running. Song Panlei was out of breath and ran for only half a lap and was almost out of reach. Yi Xin did not force her. This was only the first time, hasteness would not be achieved. In future running training, we should slowly help her improve the standards.

While sitting by the track to rest, Yi Xin helped her with her homework.

She is a first-grade student who can teach her third-grade homework. While Song Panlei admired her, she also found that under her explanation, many of the knowledge points that she didn't understand before and were not solid suddenly became much clearer, which was even better than the tutor's lecture in class.

With her help, Song Panlei began to believe for the first time that maybe her homework will really improve, and maybe her life will really get better.

"I really envy you." Song Panlei said softly. When Yi Xin turned his puzzled eyes, Song Panlei took out the jade slip again and escaped the words that could not be said into the words.

"I really envy you. You are thin and beautiful, and you are a top student. You are simply a winner in life."

This time, it was Yi Xin's turn to be surprised.

Once upon a time, she felt that her life was very depressing and she had nothing but study every day. At that time, she was the only one who envied this and that. She never thought that one day, she could become the object of envy of others.

Sure enough... As long as you are willing to work hard and be willing to make yourself better, any ordinary person can have a colorful life.

That night.

When Song Panlei finished taking a shower and checking the jade slip, he suddenly found that there were many new news tips on the screen.

No one has ever taken the initiative to chat with her, and the only text messages she can receive is only some advertisements. Why... there is so much news suddenly?

Song Panlei twitched and glanced at her eyes suddenly turned red.

It was all kinds of encouragement text messages. Although she didn't know the person who sent the message, they were encouraging themselves without exception and conveying warmth to themselves, a stranger.

She has never received such kindness in her life.

"...Thank you, Xinxin." Song Panlei's tears fell one by one, "Thank you really for everything you have done for me."
Chapter completed!