When a person learns to reflect, that is when he begins to discover mistakes.

For most parents, they never reflect on whether their actions are correct, nor do they feel what impact their actions will have on their children.

Because in their subconscious mind, children are ignorant.

Can't think, have no consciousness.

Because parents are always accustomed to treating their children as their own accessories, coupled with the moral superiority of the element of filial piety in Chinese culture, they do not regard their children as flesh-and-blood and independent personalities when facing their children's problems.

Let’s look at it.

Therefore, there is the so-called paternalistic power, which can be perfectly demonstrated from the two common behaviors of abuse and privacy.

When parents scold their children, most of them will not feel that they are scolding, nor will they feel that they are stealing privacy when they peek into their children's diaries.

So communication has become the most serious problem for all families.

Because the premise of communication is equality or relative independence of both parties.

Wang Shifeng's perspective directly overturned the patriarchal power and made everyone present aware of it.

Your own children may not really understand anything as cognitively.

This made them very scared, and they even didn't know how to face their children for a while.

It's like finding condoms in your son's pencil case.

Feeling shocked.

What was even more shocking was Wang Shifeng’s similar question later.

Do you also hope that your children will live like you in the future?

This is like an enlightenment, cracking open everyone's skulls and forcing them to face reality.

Why are parents desperate to buy a house in a school district for two families at all costs, just for a good school, giving up all their own space, just to work hard to create superior material conditions for their children?

It's because they are completely disappointed with their lives.

It is precisely because we are disappointed with ourselves that we place our hopes on the next generation.

Now someone is telling them that if things continue like this, their children may still live like they are now in the future. How can they not be afraid?

Just like when you are walking home and suddenly a neighbor tells you that your home has been moved away by others, parents become at a loss what to do and fall into a tangled panic.

Because they don't have enough confidence to confirm the authenticity of the news, but they don't dare to move forward for fear of wasting time.

This is the consequence of the collapse of faith.

Wang Shifeng's words completely overturned parents' understanding of children and education.

"Teacher Wang, did I really do something wrong and hurt the child?" Parent Zhao asked seriously in a daze.

The auditorium gradually became quiet, and their eyes focused on Wang Shifeng again. They urgently needed an answer.

"In psychology, there is a chameleon effect, also known as unconscious imitation. This effect can answer all your questions." Wang Shifeng said with a smile.

"To give you a simple example, as we all know, when people around you yawn, this action is contagious, and you will also yawn subconsciously, because the mirror neurons in your body are activated, and your subconscious mind

Will imitate, this is the chameleon effect.

Let me first explain to you what a mirror neuron is. It is a type of nerve cell. Its function is to understand the behavior of other organisms and imitate it. Because of this kind of neuron, we can evolve from apes to humans.

Because through mirror neurons, humans have learned to imitate, learn to use tools, learned more advanced communication methods and languages ​​than pheromones, and have developed music, painting and other arts unique to human civilization."

Instantly, there were bursts of soft cheers in the venue.

It is common knowledge that yawning is contagious. Most people think it is a normal phenomenon, but they did not expect it to be related to psychology.

And I also learned a new term.

Mirror neurons.

It is a term that can be roughly understood from the literal meaning, but when it comes from Wang Shifeng's mouth, it becomes unfathomable.

The teacher on stage knows too much!

But despite being amazed, the parents also understood why Wang Shifeng mentioned this.

Because they all know that children are the easiest to imitate their parents!

"The most common environment for the chameleon effect is the family. Now let's recall, when a child is born, how do we teach the child to turn over? And how do we teach the child to say the first word?" Wang Shifeng

After saying that, the parents had different expressions.

There is no need for Wang Shifeng to remind him, parents have already thought of it.

Children's earliest behaviors are almost all learned by imitating their parents. However, they previously thought that this imitation was the result of their own 'teaching', but now they realize that this is human instinct.

And what’s even more frightening is, will some of their usual bad behaviors be imitated by their children unconsciously?

"These things you consciously teach will be imitated by your children. Similarly, your usual unconscious behaviors will also be imitated by your children. Especially as the number of neurons in the brain increases as the child develops, the peak period of this imitation is about six to six years.

After the age of eight, it will become a habit." Wang Shifeng said slowly, "You can recall whether some of the child's small movements are similar to yours."

There were whispers in the venue again.

It’s not that the parents marveled when they recalled it, but that the parents around them helped to recall it.

"Mother Xiao Liu, your son seems to be able to shake his legs just like you."

"Dad Xiao Zhao, your son walks just like you!"

"Ah Huang, mother, your daughter rolls her eyes just like you."

"Lili's parents, have you noticed that your daughter also likes to pick her hands?"

"Father Jianguo, your son, like you, can't walk when he sees a girl..."

As if a shocking secret was discovered, the topic exploded instantly.

The parents were busy discussing it, and the atmosphere became more and more heated. Some parents with bad tempers even started to quarrel.

Seeing that the situation was getting out of control, Wang Shifeng quickly coughed and said, "It seems that everyone is deeply touched. Let's recall again, how did you develop these little habits? Are they innate?"

After the words fell, the parents became quiet again, and soon everyone's expressions changed drastically.

Because they recalled that these little habits of theirs seemed to have been unconsciously learned from their parents!

Is this the chameleon effect?!

horrible!

When something happens to them, people will really take it seriously.

"So, whether a child is outstanding or not has a great influence on the family environment. Now that I say this, do you still have any doubts?" Wang Shifeng asked aloud with a subtle smile on his face.

The venue fell silent again.

It is impossible to refute it because these examples are too real.

"And more importantly, the main characteristic of mirror neurons is that they can subconsciously experience other people's emotions. This is what I mean. When you see others yawn, you also want to yawn. When others laugh, you will also laugh. When others cry, you will also laugh.

will feel sad,

Moreover, the received information will be programmed into a template and stored in the brain. When there is a similar situation or event, it will be automatically triggered, which is what we often call subconscious behavior.

This is the most common reaction in the chameleon effect, so when parents keep releasing negative information to their children, the children will subconsciously imitate it. For example, Mr. Zhao, when you are in a bad mood, you must be used to hiding in the house and keeping silent.

Self-digestion.”

Parents Zhao's expression changed drastically after hearing this.

You and I have never met each other, how do you know my habits!

You installed surveillance cameras in my home?!!

Seeing the reaction of the Zhao parents, the surrounding parents exclaimed softly, and looked at Wang Shifeng with a little more awe and curiosity.

What is this called?

This wave calls for a dimensionality reduction attack!

Wang Shifeng's eyes swept across the audience, and the corners of his mouth raised slightly.

Knowing that the situation is completely under control, these parents should be obedient no matter what they say now.

“Parents are a mirror to their children, and children are their parents’ shadow, so when you complain and dislike that your children are not good enough and have a lot of bad habits, remember to reflect on it.

If your child swears, have you ever said swearing? If your child has a bad temper, what about your temper? If your child is lazy, are you diligent?" Wang Shifeng asked three questions casually, once again embarrassing all parents.

Face flushed.

"So when you feel that your child is disobedient and ignorant, you should reflect on whether the problem really lies with the child. Confucius said: If the body is upright, it will not do what is told; if the body is not upright, even if it is not

If you don't obey orders, how can you dare to be righteous if you are in command?" Wang Shifeng persuaded in a sincere tone.

Although many people could not understand the last sentence in classical Chinese, it did not prevent them from being in awe of Wang Shifeng.

This young man is indeed literate.

Such an educated young man must have a good way to teach us!

"Teacher Wang, I admit that some of my behaviors may have had a negative impact on my children, but I really don't understand." Parent Zhao picked up the microphone and asked again, his tone anxious.
To be continued...