I am a non-marriage person, you can also say that I am afraid of marriage. Although I am afraid of marriage, I also seem to long for love. People are really weird!

When I was twenty years old, I believed in the saying "if one person has enough food, the whole family will not be hungry", and I still believe it until now (that is, when I am twenty-two years old).

My family once asked me: "Euclidean, my marriage with your mother is not bad, right? Why do I always feel that you are particularly afraid of contact with others, just like the marriage-phobic patients in TV dramas?"

I don't know how to explain it to them, because they can't understand what I mean. There is a real generation gap after being separated by one generation, and they think too much.

It can be said that I grew up under their "education" since I was a child; on the one hand, I was not allowed to do things by myself, and on the other hand, they complained about how I couldn't do anything. I think there is a sentence that is particularly suitable for this situation: "Again.

You want the horse to run, but you also want the horse not to eat grass.”

People really need encouragement, especially people like me who are naturally sensitive. But they never did, they just used their status as elders to suppress me.

Of course, I can't blame them. After all, they are also first-time parents. Apart from the wrong way of educating me, they actually really dote on me.

Communicating with others is a beautiful thing. I always thought so until I was fifteen years old.

As your mind becomes more and more mature, the things that were engraved in your bones when you were a child become more and more obvious.

I can't get rid of it, and I can't get rid of it. Can the inferiority complex engraved in my bones really disappear?

At first, I just wanted to write a book to vent my anger because my novel was not finished. Who knew that it would go off topic as soon as I started writing it.

I started to get in touch with the impossible world in 2017. The first book I read at that time was "Flying on the Green Field". I was really excited at the time and cheered for Zug. But after the excitement, I was even more

Envy, I envy that Zug can have so many people cheering him on. Although I have not finished reading this novel, when I came back and saw the title again after a year, I was still very excited. This is probably

The god in my mind has done it.

Novels and music form a world of their own. Just like the two-dimensional world of animation, I always believe that they and we all truly live in this world.

The title of the chapter is "What to live for". This is a question I have been thinking about for the past few days.

I don't know, there was a time when I thought that death was better than life, because death would be a hundred things, but then I read a certain book. It changed my mind. This may be the power of words.

There are several lines in that book that left a deep impression on me.

"In this world, a life is worth half a cent!"

"A hundred years only lasts a moment."

Maybe you can't tell much from just reading these two sentences, but I read the book in one sitting. There are 480 chapters in total, and each chapter has more than ten pages.

When I first read the first three chapters, I felt that this was a novel worth reading with my heart. But since I had to go to work the next day, I put it down.

I want to find a good day to read this book! It was during that time that I took the initiative to resign because my condition was getting worse and worse.

How bad is my condition? Usually standing there gives people a very dark feeling; but one time when I went to work, a man was handing out flyers on the road, and he handed it to my head. I trembled all over and...

I screamed in despair and ran away. There were many office workers like me on the roadside at that time, and they were all quite baffled. In fact, I was quite baffled myself, but I seemed to be unable to control my words and actions.

In fact, it was really distressing, so I resigned in the end. A few days before resigning, I was in the rental house, and I was in that gloomy state.

Lock yourself in a small dark room and seal yourself off; don't let others in, and don't let yourself out.

My friend said that I had a mental problem and asked me to see a psychiatrist. But I would feel that she was trying to harm me...

I always feel that great evil people are great good people before they turn evil, because to the extreme.

It's the same principle as extreme happiness leads to sadness. I can't say that I am a good person, but I can be considered a good citizen who abides by the law.

So when my thoughts started to turn bad, I would dismantle everyone's kindness to me and look at them step by step to see how they harmed me.

It was in this state that I read the book that I couldn't bear to read after reading three chapters.

Sometimes the text is a little pale and weak, but sometimes it can save your life.

So I don't want to die, I want to live well.

Because I don't want to die, so I want to live!

This year because of the epidemic, I stayed at home and accomplished nothing, so I suddenly started writing a novel. The world is so crazy that even mice are acting as bridesmaids to cats...

Maybe it’s because in my hometown, my slightly broken heart was mostly healed.

Although I just wanted to make money when I first started writing novels, if I don’t write well, I really have no future!

I put the most effort into the first few chapters and revised them many times. Although they are still not satisfactory now, if you read my previous chapters, you will know that my current ones are better than before.

How much.

I don’t know where I read a sentence, but the general idea is that a good article requires you to correct it carefully over and over again.

At that time, I started writing with this belief in mind, and I did revise it several times seriously. But later I felt that I was a little bloated. Maybe everything was going too smoothly, so I felt that writing a novel was nothing more than that.

Later, after reading some sage book reviews by some great writers, I thought carefully about why I came to write novels.

Although I have been supporting it for a while, I have clearly felt something is wrong in the past few days. I have begun to swell again, and there are obviously not many people who like it. I think I am probably crazy.

Logically speaking, the freshness period should have passed long ago, and I also know very clearly why I write novels. (Why did I go off topic again?)

Including a book I opened before called "Notes on Eucalyptus", but it was deleted by me for some reason at the time. Maybe I had a brain twitch...

Regarding the novel I wrote, I really can’t complain. Because today I am troubled by the latest chapter. Obviously this chapter has been written. But I always feel that something is wrong, and I don’t know how to correct it.

.I really want to hit my head with a book...

Because I don’t want to die, I live; because I live, I write novels. [Ahem, of course I’m not that great. Anyway, multiple skills are always better.]

I hope we can all live well and do meaningful things.
Chapter completed!