About two days ago, I completely killed the male protagonist in my novel. In fact, I was really sad. The feeling of feeling sad when I think of him and heartache when I see the sky is really uncomfortable.

At the beginning of May, I always wanted to write a better ending, and I wanted the male protagonist to be in a state of dying but not dead. But I couldn't write it, because at the beginning of March, when I planned to write him to death,

All this is doomed. He must die, and it was not originally written about him; the book is mainly about the female protagonist... but the whole incident does revolve around the male protagonist.

When I had the idea of ​​writing the male protagonist to death, I was particularly sad; I was in a particularly bad state during those days, including these few days. I was thinking, why should I write such a good boy to death?

Why do you want to die like this?

And the only wild reader I have joined the group is probably the one who least wants the male protagonist to die. The reason why I wanted to write a good ending before may have something to do with her.

Because I don’t want to disappoint wild readers, but I have no choice but to do my best.

And I feel really guilty these days. I always aim to finish it, but I don’t want to finish it. I don’t even want to write it anymore because the male protagonist is dead.

The chapters updated in the past few days are indeed not very good, and I also gave up on one of the very important supporting characters.

The worst ones are probably Chapters 119 and 120, which were written yesterday.

It’s when I suddenly don’t know how to write. I know what I should write, but I just feel very irritable and don’t want to write. Or maybe I’m very resistant...

It's like you know that person is dead, but you still have to recall the interesting things between him and you when he was alive. It's really uncomfortable.

The reason why I continue to write is because I want to have perfect attendance.

Yes, it is such a vulgar reason. People have to survive, right?

I have been doing divination these days, and it all shows that money will help me succeed. All I want is to finish the book; since money can make me persevere, then I will continue to persevere.

People are really contradictory, they want both fish and bear's paws.

I listened to a song today and saw a sentence. It said that no one is worth pleasing.

How to put it, I am actually a role model. If others say it is not good, I will not do such a thing next time; if others say that is not good, I will not do such a thing next time; others do not want me to

If the male protagonist dies, I will also start to think about whether it would be better not to die (of course, it didn't work out in the end, so I feel very guilty.)

After listening to that song, I suddenly felt that I should follow my own ideas.

I wanted to write him dead from the beginning, so he was dead in my heart; or in other words, I wrote this character based on his death.

It's hard to calm down... Really, this feeling is exactly the same as the feeling I had when I fell out of love a few years ago, and it's even worse than the feeling I had when I fell out of love before.

It is actually a taboo to trap yourself in the world of novels.

But there is no way, and I can't change it. When I read other people's novels, I also fall into it; I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

But in my novel, the writing is lacking; the plot is not very good. So how did I get myself into it?

After writing this, I still don’t want to write a new chapter of that novel. Although I will definitely update it today, I really don’t want to write it anymore. It’s the kind of thing I don’t want to write in the future...

I don’t know what I’m talking about, but at least I can write it today; that night, I was so sad that I wanted to find someone to talk to, but I couldn’t speak.

I may be crazy, but I have always been a pessimist.
Chapter completed!