I feel very emotional in my heart, but I don’t know where to start. In the past few days, I have gone from great sadness to great joy, from extreme fear to now sudden peace of mind... Oh, how could my twenty-two years be so wonderful?

I weighed 99 pounds today, and a month ago I weighed 108 pounds.

That month was actually almost the same as my previous life, and I stayed at home eating and drinking well.

So why did I lose weight? It is said that people lose weight when they are extremely scared. (I am a person who loses weight easily)

I'm extremely afraid to go out and interact with people. But I also don't dare to be alone.

For such a person, living in this world actually doesn't mean much.

But, I want to live. I want to live well.

I'm trying to get out of the room, and I'm trying to get in touch with others. It's not because I like it, and I don't want to huddle in a corner forever.

The world is actually not as scary as I thought. What kind of person you are will determine the kind of world you see.

—————Boundary Line——————

Last night, I had a heart-to-heart talk with my friend at midnight. I went upstairs to wash up and fell asleep shortly after. Although I slept very deeply, I woke up in the middle of the night.

There are some strange relationships between people.

My friend didn't sleep all night. I only knew that she was a little excited, but I didn't know what exactly happened. After all, it was pitch black in the room and I couldn't see anything.

My friend has a carefree temperament. What I can't understand is why she can be so patient and careful to take care of others. Maybe it's because I have less contact with people and have never really been in love. Or maybe I am more selfish.

It's hard to understand why she stayed up all night taking care of others.

It's like, the older you get, the more you lose something. What I could understand before, I don't understand now.

They are all growing up, but I am growing in reverse, and I am the only one who is slowly getting worse.

I cried so much last night that I felt dizzy. It can be said that I haven’t vented in a long time. Of course, I am not a crybaby, but tears will come out when I want to say something from the bottom of my heart, and I can’t stop them.

Even now it's past seven o'clock, and I feel dizzy. Of course, it may be related to the fact that I haven't slept all night.

My friend stayed up all night because he was taking care of others, but I was just awake all night and couldn't fall asleep.

People tend to have random thoughts when they are idle, so I have the above thoughts.

The older I get, the more selfish I become; the more selfish I become, the less I want to have contact with others.

But I have to make progress, and I can't just stay where I am. Although my ideal is to be a salted fish, I also hope to be an excellent salted fish.

I will no longer talk about what I want to do and what benefits it will bring to me.

Because it’s all about talking and not practicing fake moves.

Don't say it, do it.

——————————

My mental state was not very good the past few days (well, I seem to have been in this state) because I started to have some dreams again that made it difficult for me to distinguish reality.

The most comfortable time was probably in the second half of last year. Because I didn’t have any dreams in that half year (if I dreamed, it would be a nightmare).

So, when I came back from playing outside very happily during the day, but at night I had an extremely real dream that shocked my friends, I became even more confused.

I'm so sensitive that when a gust of wind blows over, I feel like something is trying to harm me.

I know very well in my heart that the world is not as scary as I imagined, but because the dream is too real, I am a little helpless.

Moreover, dreams are actually a premonition.

I particularly envy those who believe in science. When they have nightmares, do they just slap the bad things in their dreams?

——————

I’m thinking of new short stories, and of course the main thing is to practice writing. I seem to have heard that it will be easier to write a long story once you’ve mastered the short story.

Although my short story has been reviewed, I actually wanted to delete it (but couldn’t) because I found many problems and it was not considered a good short story.
Chapter completed!