After the first class, some students ran back to the dormitory and brought a tripod. The study committee took the lead and found a SLR camera. It was placed in the middle of the lecture theater so that it could perfectly capture Teacher Yuan’s class.

All details.

Some old professors often have teaching assistants to help record class videos when they are in class. Although Yuanjia is not at this level, students spontaneously want to record all his classes.

Teacher Yuan’s classes are really good.

In the last class, almost no one was using mobile phones, and many students who came to class listened with great interest.

The bell rang and the second period began.

There are chairs behind the podium. Many university liberal arts teachers like to sit down and give lectures. They only use computers to explain ppt throughout the whole process, and rarely even use chalk.

Yuan Jia always lectures standing up, and often walks around in the audience. His ppt is not very beautiful, but his blackboard writing is excellent, and the handwriting is very pleasing to the eye.

Sometimes it was necessary to draw simple graphics to describe psychological relationships. He took the chalk and casually drew a circle, which was as round as a compass. Just this hand made the students in the audience marvel.

At the end of the class, a girl raised her hand and asked a question.

"Classmate Shen Wan, please speak."

Yuan Jia called out her name accurately, and the girl was stunned for a moment, and then she felt a warm current welling up in her heart.

During roll call yesterday, she simply introduced herself and was not active in class. She just immersed herself in taking notes. None of the other teachers could call out her name, but Teacher Yuan called her out easily. This was clever and effective.

The compliment made her feel that she was greatly respected.

"Teacher Yuan, you just mentioned the influence of the original family, but we cannot choose our own birth. This seems to be a fate. If there is a manic father and a very controlling mother, then what should I do?

Woolen cloth?"

Shen Wan raised her own question. Judging from the expression on her face when she spoke, it was not difficult for Yuan Jia to see that the 'manic father' and 'controlling mother' in her question were actually reflections of her own real family.

Of course Yuan Jia would not tell the truth. He nodded and motioned to Shen Wan to please sit down.

"The family of origin is a social relationship that we rely on mentally and materially before we have the ability to live independently. The family atmosphere, traditional habits, learning objects, interactive relationships, etc., will have a profound impact on the performance of our children."

"Let's take the family of origin mentioned by Shen Wan in the question just now as an example."

"A manic father and a controlling mother, in addition to playing the role of parents in the family relationship, they also play the role of 'pressurer' and 'controller'."

"For the 'pressure person', his purpose is very simple. He hopes that you will not leave or resist. If he is manic, then you have to bear his mania and follow his emotional logic, and you are not allowed to have any

Opinion."

"For the 'controller', he feels that everything is unfair and is full of resentment towards life. Only by living according to his rhythm and the way he has set can he feel peaceful."

Because all the students in the class are psychology majors, Yuanjia wants to explain it in a more in-depth manner compared to the explanation in the live broadcast.

"Whether they are pressurers or controllers, their hearts are actually controlled by two emotions, one is a sense of accomplishment, and the other is frustration, and most of them are frustrated. Their behavior is to escape this kind of frustration.

feel."

"This is the first step we need to take, to understand your family of origin."

The students in the audience listened very carefully, looking up at Teacher Yuan from time to time, or looking down to take notes quickly.

Yuan Jia's speaking speed is very well controlled, and her enunciation is clear, making her sound effortless.

"After completing the first step of understanding, the second step you need to do is to admit it."

"You have to admit that you can't change them, because their current behavior is also caused by their growth environment, and their thinking logic is self-consistent. Unless you turn them into children again and give them a different

The same growing experience.”

"Family affection, love, communication, reasoning, etc., are all difficult to change a person. Even if they can, it only lasts for a moment. It won't take long before the old behavior returns. The formation of a person's character must be rooted in the past.

.”

"If you are unable to admit it, or spend a lot of energy trying to change these unchangeable things, then only then will your family of origin really have an impact on you."

"You may spend most of your energy complaining about your parents, feeling that your misfortunes are all caused by them, so gradually you will become like your parents, a 'pressurer' and a 'controller'. You begin to

You feel sad and angry, you start to feel unfair, you start to feel that you have no sense of control over your life, your parents' behavior reappears in you, and you bring it into a new family environment."

Hearing this, most students took a breath of cold air. This is the most terrifying influence, and it is subtle. If you don't reflect on yourself, you won't notice it at all. It has the smell of "a dragon-slaying warrior will eventually become a evil dragon"

.

Yuan Jia had already walked under the podium and stood among the students. His voice became softer and he sighed vaguely, as if he could empathize with this emotion.

The most obvious difference between listening to Teacher Yuan’s lectures and listening to other teachers’ lectures is ‘emotional mobilization’

Teacher Yuan can easily arouse students' emotions and it is difficult to distract them.

All the students' attention will unconsciously fall on Teacher Yuan, watching his every movement, every expression, listening to every word and sentence he speaks, watching his gestures, watching

Looking at his mouth that opens and closes, and his eyes that seem to hide many emotions, the rhythm of the entire class is under his control.

This is the charm of body language and facial expression language. Many times, Yuanjia doesn't even need to speak, but students can easily capture a lot of information from his body movements and facial expression changes.

Moreover, this kind of information has a more profound impression and will become a picture and stay in the mind.

Yuanjia continued to talk.

"When you learn to admit that some problems in this world are indeed unsolvable, you will feel more relaxed than ever."

"Because you no longer need to waste energy on this unsolvable problem, this problem will no longer control your emotions and psychology. Let it go, don't think about it, and put your limited energy into problems that can really be solved.

Go up."

“What problem is solvable?”

"It is definitely easier to change yourself than to change others. You can learn to slowly establish a new understanding. Tell yourself, 'I live in the present. As an adult, I can have a healthier and more rational lifestyle. I don't need to

Investing energy in relationships and behaviors that you know are harmful and negative.'"

"Family of origin should not be an excuse for you not to change or give up. It should be the motivation for you to make changes now."

"The family of origin is not your responsibility, but you will be responsible for your own choices and your future."

"We must learn to 'self-examine'"

More than a hundred students in the audience were quiet. Listening to Teacher Yuan's words, they also understood more clearly how they should face the problem of "original family".

In the future, many of them may become psychological counselors or teachers like Yuan Jia. The inspiration Yuan Jia brings to them is huge.

Yuan Jia's class was very lively. Regarding the topic of native family, he also gave everyone an example from a very well-known movie.

"How many students have watched "Stormy Road to Harvard"?"

As a classic inspirational film, many students majoring in psychology have watched it and raised their hands.

"This film is adapted from a true story. The girl Liz's native family can be called hell. Her parents are drug addicts and alcoholics, her mother is schizophrenic, she has no fixed place to live, she doesn't have enough to eat, her body stinks, and she is discriminated against and abused by her classmates.

Ridiculed, she lived like a mouse and lived by stealing and begging until her mother's death made her determined to change herself and finally reversed her hellish fate."

"The girl Liz said, I don't feel sorry for myself. This is my family of origin, my world. The world I come from is different from others. I have no way out. I have to work harder and push myself to another world.

Go in."

"When you change, the world will change accordingly."

Yuan Jia spent ten minutes chatting with everyone about the topic of his original family. After finishing his last sentence, the bell just rang.

bell

Everyone in the audience seemed to be waking up from a dream, coming back to their senses from the state that Yuan Jia had brought them into.
Chapter completed!