Are you often treated as a joke and used to create atmosphere among the crowd?

Have you often been the child that your parents tell you can’t do this or that?

Have you ever had a friend who joined later and suddenly became very involved in your circle of friends, and in the end you became an outsider?

Did you tell your best friend not to tell anyone about it, but the next day the whole world knew about it?

There is no doubt that these people are using you to get the emotional value they want.

Some people may have better personalities, or be more generous, and they may be able to joke around and just laugh and get over it.

Some people may feel that they can provide emotional value to these people, whether they are really humorous or really licking their wits, and they will ignore the insults and belittling involved and continue to provide corresponding emotional value to these people.

This is a word that is often heard later: materialization.

To be a dog licker is to objectify oneself.

Some people have sensitive personalities and may not like to joke so much.

Not that social either.

If this is the case, it is easier to get into trouble and be driven into a nervous breakdown by these seemingly harmless but extremely rich potential information.

Speaking of which, it doesn’t seem to be very common, right?

But if you think about it carefully, there are quite a lot of situations like this.

Comparison among children in large families.

The one with poor grades will always be bad at everything.

It's better if my parents protect me a little.

What scares the most is parents taking the initiative to use it as a joke for others.

Think about it again, when you first entered junior high school, if that girl suddenly got her period.

What was the male classmate's reaction at that time, what was the eye contact between them, maybe they didn't say a word at all.

With those eyes looking up and down, doesn’t it make you a little bit heady just thinking about it?

Think again if you first entered the workplace, when you might get certain opportunities because of your parents or a relative, what people around you would often say when you get together in small groups, and the way they would look at you.

At these times, will you feel embarrassed, ashamed, angry, or even lose control of your emotions?

Many years later, in a radio broadcast room.

The male host was interrupted many times by the female host. In a tone that everyone understood, he said something like, "Hehe, yes, yes, yes, yes", which made the male host break his guard on the spot.

With all the public opinion at that time and the boxer's push, the male host was almost wiped out!

Old PUAs and old psychologists, in fact, you only need to look at this matter to know.

The male host's mood has been completely affected.

It seems that the female host may be the victim, but in fact, the male host receives the emotional value provided to him by the female host, which is only negative.

So when some words, similar to code words, with relatively obvious marks, such as haha, yes, yes, yes, appear, it is like blowing a dog whistle, making the man feel pain and humiliation, and he explodes.

The angrier and less qualified he is, the more people around him will think it's his problem.

At this time, it seems that the victim only needs to stand up and apologize to everyone, "I'm sorry, maybe I didn't pay too much attention to my own way at work, which brought a bad listening experience to the audience. I am here to tell the leader

Apologize, apologize to the audience, apologize to my colleagues."

This social dynamic happens again.

The future of male hosts is basically ruined.

Then some people would like to know what it would be like to fall into the big net that others have worked so hard to weave for you.

How to escape from such an environment?

One, disrupt their rhythm.

For example, when their topic shifts to you.

Interrupt their rhythm with a little exaggeration.

"Wucao, this dish is really delicious. Try it quickly."

"Come on, come on, drink and drink, don't just chat."

"What song do you want to sing? I can help you."

"Whose feet are so smelly?"

No matter what method you use, interrupt their chat rhythm.

The behavior is rough, the tone is gentle, and accompanied by a smile.

Specifically for the troublemaker, as soon as he speaks, you change the subject.

Second, learn to discover the shining points in yourself.

Then if you want to say that the brightest point on my body is my bald head, there is nothing you can do about it.

If you really can't find the bright spots in your body, you will be very depressed.

Go to the gym, go to the gym, go for a run.

My body is healthy and my muscles are strong. I can run three kilometers for the first time, five kilometers for the first time, and half marathon for the first time...

The fat on the belly is gone, and the vest line has some clear marks.

Every time you sweat and exercise next time, you will feel full of existence.

At that time, it will always be yourself who provides you with emotional value, not others.

From "others think me" to "I think me".

Then change from "I think I am" to "I am".

Such a change may take some time, and may change slowly...

However, as long as you keep doing it for a little longer, you will suddenly look back one day, my dear, and the changes will be so big.

Exercise is just one way.

You can also read a book, read a lot of books, so that there is not just one voice in your head.

If you look for a book about two people who are at odds with each other the most in reality, their views must be very opposite.

Let yourself always keep thinking and don't follow what others say.

Be an independent thinking person.

Slowly, you will find that the evaluation of you in the circle around you becomes less important.

But you are not afraid to deal with them. You can look at them calmly and wisely, listen to what they say, and watch them show their teeth.

You can also go to a busy coffee shop and order a cup of Americano coffee, not just to take pictures or to show off.

Just to listen to the office workers inside bragging.

Go and see how various industries operate and educate yourself about your blind spots.

Don't brag about areas you are not good at and always want to give others advice, ask yourself do you really understand?

Ask yourself again, does the other person really understand?

When you are a person with super physical fitness.

When you are a person with cultural knowledge.

When you are a person who is curious about the unknown world and wants to keep exploring.

Who has time to care about what the trash circle around you thinks of you?

Of course, you have to say that I am too old to read books.

If your knees are not good, you will not be able to exercise well.

If my waist is not good, I can't lift the iron.

Those books that are too culturally heavy cannot be read and the core cannot be grasped.

Go fishing! Can’t catch? Go to the wet market and buy a ten-pound fish. Carry your fishing pole and fish around the community for a few times, and you will get a lot of compliments. The fishing guys in the community will provide you with

Full of emotional value.

This doesn’t work either?

Then go to the club, the princesses are very sweet, and they have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering advantages.

Is the club too expensive? Go to salsa dancing, it will always make you happy, and it is also a place that can provide you with emotional value.

I have a bright spot, I have confidence, I have the ability to think independently, and I can provide myself with emotional value.

What use do those so-called dog-whistling rules of abuse and emotional manipulation have to you?

Third, stay away from the rubbish circle and stay away from those saints who advise you to be generous.

(Written here, I will use this plot to provide some useful information. It can be regarded as a guide to avoid pitfalls. I hope it will be helpful to everyone. I wish everyone a healthy body, a healthy mentality, and a lot of positivity in the new year.

Emotional value.

Thank you Ziren for the great certification, thank you for the great certification sent by I am a tweet, thank you Lin Xuan and Qingyu for the great certification, thank driver Ban Xiaowang for the great certification, thank Weiaipi Zhongpi for the great certification,

Thank you to Uncleyang for the show, thank you to {Nanke} for the role summons, thank you to "my penniless boyfriend" for the flowers, thank you to the rich woman please see through my strength for the god certification, thank you for loving apple puree.

Su Xiangxuan sent the flowers for the update, thank Jiuyanqiao Tumbler for the flowers for the update, thank WTF Wangba for the character summons, thank you all for the capsules, reminders, blades, milk tea, love letters, likes, flowers and
Chapter completed!