"On May 10, 2020, I once again thought about dying."

In the messy room, with the sound of keyboard tapping, this sentence was left on the flooded computer screen.

A young man sitting cross-legged in front of the computer desk, wearing a pair of dull black-rimmed glasses, a green-brown plaid shirt and a pair of baggy marge shorts, stared blankly at a text document.

He seemed to be staying still or thinking about something.

It wasn't until a long time later that his fingers moved again.

The word "May 10" was deleted and changed to "May 10".

Because he thought it would be easier to read this way.

But then, he began to think about the rationality of the word "go die" again.

I wonder if using this word in the article would seem too artificial.

So, what can it be changed to?

The young man thought about it from beginning to end, and even began to read the entire sentence aloud, trying to feel the differences in the words more deeply.

So, another six or seven minutes passed.

When he suddenly woke up, he rejected his idea of ​​changing the wording because other words seemed not appropriate enough.

So, let’s do this for now.

Um……

Finally, it should have taken about ten minutes.

The young man finally finalized the first sentence in his suicide note for a certain character in his novel.

"On May 10, 2020, I once again thought about dying."

Immediately, the young man continued to write a self-question and answer in the empty computer text.

"Why do you want to die? The reason may be difficult to explain. To describe it, it would probably appear extremely ridiculous."

Then his brows furrowed again, and he began to make endless revisions to the above content one after another.

"Why you want to die? It may be difficult to explain the reason. To describe it accurately, it will probably make many people find it extremely ridiculous."

"As for why you want to die, the reason may be difficult to explain, and it may even seem extremely ridiculous to describe it."

"As for why you want to die, the reason may be difficult to explain. To describe it, it will probably make many people find it extremely ridiculous."

In such meaningless changes.

The young man recited a simple statement dozens of times. He took apart every word, broke it into pieces, and experienced it over and over again.

But he can't find a context that he thinks is accurate. Sometimes he gets too deep into it and keeps checking punctuation marks and sentence fragments.

Each sparse and ordinary word gradually became extremely complicated in his eyes.

Even in the following narrative, he even considered:

Whether the same words should not appear consecutively, whether the succession of paragraphs rhymes, whether the sum of the words can be divided into the number of chapters.

He tried to make his writing neat.

But then, he realized that his behavior was pathological, so he wanted to break the framework.

Unexpectedly, in the end, his thoughts strengthened his restraints.

And so on, the cycle repeats.

Until the end, the young man's thoughts turned into a complete mess.

"ah!"

Finally he cried out, lay on the table and grabbed his hair.

In the second year of living alone, He Wen felt that he seemed to have lost his talent for writing.

He suffered from a disease, an obsessive-compulsive mental illness caused by specific factors. As a result, he suffered from many symptoms of anxiety and depression. He then had to take drugs to adjust his daily life.

.

He felt like he was going crazy, yes, he was going crazy.

In the chaotic words and paragraphs, under the completely illogical sentences.

It was as if there were countless tongues wagging around unanswerable questions, while forcing him to provide answers.

But He Wen didn't know the answer at all, so the voice in his ears couldn't stop.

"ha……"

Among the tables and chairs stacked with clutter, the young man who had vented his emotions was breathing heavily, tiredly.

He wanted to quiet the voices in his head.

At this moment, there is no doubt that I miss you very much.

…

Recently, ginger has found a new way to find food.

It is different from accepting charity from others, or rummaging through leftovers from restaurants, but adopting a more "dignified" way to maintain one's own survival.

All in all, this type of behavior is often called hunting.

Yes, Jiang Sheng learned to hunt in the city.

As for where its "hunting ground" is, it's actually not unusual. The exact location is in a river beach on the edge of the city.

The water there is not deep and is connected to a small stream, so there are often schools of wild fish swimming by.

This undoubtedly provides Jiang Sheng with an excellent fishing place.

The spacious and clear river bed provides it with complete conditions to maximize its advantages.

The way black cats fish is roughly as follows: first let the black energy on their bodies "interfere" with the behavior of the fish, making them unlucky and sluggish.

Then it is like a stone, waiting quietly at the place it deems appropriate, just waiting for a blind fish to swim to its side.

Finally, it will use its sharp claws and fangs, as well as its strength far beyond that of ordinary house cats, to break through the water and capture it.

It must be admitted that this method does feel a bit like waiting for the rabbit to catch the rabbit. But the skills involved between the two are far from each other. (Realistic)

Luck, patience, and strength are all indispensable. This is Jiang Sheng's "way of survival."

"Meow!" followed by a menacing cat meow.

Another palm-sized grass carp was slapped onto the river bank by Jiang Sheng, flopping feebly.

He slowly walked up to the other party and picked up the fish's belly with his mouth.

He didn't pay attention to the strong fishy smell, but the cat's taste buds made Jiang Sheng squint his eyes in comfort.

At this moment, it had to admit that its resentment was not entirely useless.

"Grudge" is the name given by Jiang Sheng to the black energy bred in his body.

There was no special reason or conjecture, just because their concepts were not so auspicious, so Jiang Sheng equated both parties.

When it comes to controlling resentment, Jiang Sheng has not made any progress so far.

It seems that any living creature that is close to it for a long time will be affected by this ominous aura, and then become unlucky.

The degree of bad luck fluctuated, and Jiang Sheng himself couldn't figure out the pattern.

From the fish's point of view, sometimes it's just a momentary trance. And sometimes, it's a sudden and sudden death that makes Jiang Sheng a little confused as to how to eat.

"Stab it."

After tearing off a piece of snow-white fish meat neatly, Jiang Sheng lay down on the grass beside the river beach. He hooked his tail and enjoyed his lunch.

Its life is still peaceful, and except for the poor fish, even the occasional butterfly flying by will not be disturbed.
Chapter completed!