Chapter 3 Learn to Wipe Ass
"Great, Your Highness, you are awake. The Emperor is very worried about you. I will go and report to His Majesty right now."
After that, he ran out quickly without giving Wang Quan time to ask, shouting as he ran, "Your Highness is awake, His Highness the Eighth is awake, call the imperial doctor quickly!"
Then it became lively outside, and Wang Pingquan thought to himself, as for that, is it a big deal to wake up?
"The royal concubine has arrived!"
Not long after, a sharp voice shouted outside.
Immediately afterwards, a group of palace maids and eunuchs came rushing towards us. Among them was a beautiful woman in her thirties, wearing a golden crown, full of jewels and hairpins, and her body was even more colorful and decorated with various ornaments.
.
I saw the woman walking quickly towards Wang Biquan, obviously coming towards him. She opened her hands five steps away from Wang Biquan, apparently wanting to hug him. Wang Biquan always kept away from strangers of the opposite sex. He looked around to find someone to hide from, and finally chose to hide.
behind the desk.
The imperial concubine’s surname was Yang, and she was the biological mother of Wang Pingquan’s body.
Concubine Yang also felt strange. Didn't this kid usually rush towards her when he saw her? Why did he hide from her this time?
Then the two of them staged a funny scene in full view of the public: Concubine Yang wanted to catch His Highness, and His Highness went around the table to hide from Concubine Yang. The concubine was a little embarrassed and said, "Quan, be good, let me see."
"No, just stand there and watch."
Although the current body is that of a twelve- or thirteen-year-old child, inside there lives a virgin in his twenties, who is still extremely shy.
They walked around for ten minutes. The imperial concubine was still a little angry at first, but now she lost her temper. The imperial concubine didn't need to do any work in the first place, and she was covered with more than ten kilograms of clothing, not to mention being punished.
Not much different.
In the end, Concubine Yang was at her wits end and sat down directly at the table. She poured some water and started drinking. However, Wang Pingquan couldn't help it. She couldn't stand or sit down. In the end, she simply sat down on a stool and poured some water.
Got up.
Concubine Yang glared at Wang Biquan from across the table, and Wang Biquan responded with helpless eyes. The two went back and forth until another sharp voice came:
"The Emperor has arrived!"
Wang Pingquan hated this shouting eunuch so much that it was like stepping on a cat's tail. It scared him every time.
Concubine Yang got up quickly when she heard that the emperor was coming. Wang Biquan also got up when he saw it, imitating the same example. The emperor came in a hurry, and soon he was almost there. Wang Biquan met the leader of the country for the first time, and he felt a little bit when he saw everyone else saluting.
He was nervous and his mind was a little blank. How could he salute?
Seeing that the emperor was getting closer and closer, he quickly looked around, and finally fixed his eyes on Concubine Yang in front of him. Then he imitated Concubine Yang and performed a Ten Thousand Blessings... Yes! He performed a Ten Thousand Blessings, and his movements were very standard.
Just when he was feeling proud, he suddenly realized that something was wrong with the atmosphere. Everyone's expressions were very wonderful, some were dumbfounded, and some were suppressing laughter. Concubine Yang who turned around had a look of disbelief on her face, and the emperor's face was even darker.
It can't be any darker.
Wang Pingquan suddenly realized that he had given the wrong gift, and secretly cursed himself for not being smart when he went out.
Seeing that the atmosphere was extremely awkward, Wang Biquan suddenly had an idea in his mind, rolled his eyes, and passed out.
When the atmosphere was very awkward and he didn't know how to end it, Wang Pingquan took advantage of the situation and pretended to be faint to avoid the troubles in this world. In this way, he could just use the excuse of being unconscious.
Sure enough, when everyone saw that he was unconscious, they were in a mess again, fetching water and calling the imperial doctor. From time to time, they could hear the emperor's scolding. Then, Wang Biangquan felt like he was being held by a pair of warm and strong hands.
On the bed.
Wang Pingquan hasn't experienced this kind of warmth for a long time since his parents divorced.
After a while, the imperial doctor rushed over in a hurry, saluted hastily, and hurriedly took Wang Biquan's pulse. He also rolled Wang Biquan's eyelids from time to time. After tinkering for a long time, the imperial doctor scratched his head more and more.
There seems to be nothing wrong with the Eighth Prince. Different from the previous days when his Qi was like a gossamer, his pulse is now very lively. No matter how you look at it, you can't see anything wrong. However, you can't tell the emperor that there is no problem because you don't want your head anymore.
Suddenly, the imperial doctor noticed Wang Biangquan's eyelids moving slightly, and he immediately understood. After practicing medicine for decades, he could be the leader of the imperial hospital, and he still had real abilities. He immediately judged that Wang Biangquan was pretending to be ill.
"Your Majesty, don't panic. His Highness the Eighth Prince is fine. I'll be fine with just a few injections."
Then observing Wang Biquan's reaction, he saw that his eyelids were trembling even more, but he still didn't look like he was about to wake up.
The imperial doctor deepened his judgment and continued: "The places where I want to inject the needle are the most painful acupuncture points in the human body. It will help His Highness stimulate his potential and wake up."
At this time, Wang Biquan had already begun to ask questions about the imperial doctor and his family. Did this old guy know that he was faking and came here to stimulate him on purpose? He couldn't let him do whatever he wanted. His eyesight was dim. If he stabbed the wrong person, he would suffer in vain.
.
So Wang Pingquan slowly opened his eyes and said in a hoarse voice: "Where is this, what's wrong with me?"
Anyone who looked at Wang Biquan's demeanor would feel that he was tired. When the old doctor saw Wang Biquan wake up, he was convinced that he was pretending to be comatose and did not find out.
"Your Highness is not in serious trouble. I will just write down a recipe to adjust it. I will take my leave first."
The imperial doctor retreated, and the emperor and Concubine Yang quickly gathered around him, showing concern on their faces.
Wang Biangquan said hurriedly: "Father, mother, my son and I are fine. Don't worry, I'm very energetic now."
Father, mother?
This kind of title is rarely used in the palace. The royal family has a strict hierarchy. Even the prince must be respectfully addressed as mother, concubine, and father.
However, considering that he had just recovered from a serious illness, the emperor and the imperial concubine didn't think much about it. The imperial concubine asked with concern: "Quan'er, are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere?"
Wang Pingquan touched his stomach and said, "I don't feel uncomfortable anywhere, I'm just a little hungry."
"Go and ask the imperial kitchen to prepare food quickly." Yang Guifei hurriedly ordered.
The imperial concubine went to get food, and the emperor came over again. Only then did Wang Pingquan have the opportunity to take a closer look at the emperor. He was about forty years old, with a standard beard, and a very upright appearance. He should have been quite handsome when he was young.
"Quan'er, what is one plus one equal to?"
When the emperor came up, he was confused by Wang Biquan's first question. However, due to the identity of the other party, he still answered honestly: "It's equal to two."
The emperor was obviously relieved after hearing this, "What does two plus two equal?"
He was going too far. Did he consider himself a fool? Wang Biquan was unhappy.
"Four!"
Wang Pingquan's attitude is no longer as good as it was at the beginning. It is estimated that no one who is asked two mentally retarded questions in succession will have a better attitude.
Unexpectedly, the emperor became even happier and quickly began to ask again:
“What’s four minus two?”
...
Wang Biquan almost went crazy after being asked several mentally retarded questions one after another. He really thought he was mentally retarded. Wang Biquan's answers became more and more impatient. Unexpectedly, the emperor became more and more excited as he asked more questions. He asked all the questions about addition, subtraction, multiplication and division within ten.
In the end, Wang Pingquan came to the conclusion that it was not himself who was mentally retarded, but the emperor was somewhat weak.
The emperor is now very happy. He was assassinated when he was five years old. As a result, his favorite son was frightened and fell seriously ill. After he recovered from the illness, he became stupid and stupid. To this day, he can still add and subtract within ten.
Can't figure it out.
Looking at it again today, it seems that there is still hope. If you can understand addition and subtraction within ten, then wouldn't it be just around the corner to be able to eat, dress, shit and wipe your butt on your own from now on?
Thinking of this, the emperor became even more happy.
Chapter completed!