Chapter 16: Inspiration comes from life

My heavy head affects my thinking, but I am willing to drink strong wine and only take one day off for half a month. This is used to release the pressure of the god of dysfunction.

Tobacco and alcohol cannot be tolerated, from ancient times to the present. There are too many people at the bottom. While enjoying peace and stability, they must be controlled, and can also be called slavery.

I just feel the problem from another perspective, and of course I am willing to be regulated, so I am anesthesizing myself with alcohol.

The previous chapter describes the future you, the you I hope to meet, and the inspiration comes from an ordinary girl.

We worked on the same line. At first glance, she felt quite ordinary and didn't care much about it.

But the more I look, the better it looks. Every time I walk past me, I can't help but sneak a glance at her. She is a little shorter than me, a little fat in her baby, her arms look fleshy, and her long dyed and permed hair is simply tied.

I felt that I fell in love with her and began to fantasize about whether it was possible to be with her. I asked her directly that it was too ordinary to be friends with her and could not leave a deep impression on her.

Then you need an opportunity, like a light switch, just press the love lightly.

But I overlooked the most important point, does she have a boyfriend now? Although she does not wear a couple ring, I would not be foolish about thinking that she is single, for example, I don’t like to wear any jewelry, including watches.

In order to confirm the conjecture, I deliberately followed her when I got off work, and the scene I least wanted to see appeared.

She happily walked to a strange boy. Although she did not hold her hands, the arms of the two collided from time to time.

Her appearance made me know that appearance is not important to me. I like her because she is like a cute little girl when she is excited, and like a gentle little woman when she is quiet.

I asked myself if I was lost? The answer is yes. Even if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have the courage to pursue her.

I have inferiority complex. Although I can't see it on the surface, I don't even dare to make friends with girls now. I have fantasized about girls who can accept me if I don't dislike them.

I have never written about my illness and the source of inferiority complex in this book. I have written about the previous book. If there is no need, I would not want to mention it again.

I admit that I have concerns and cannot forget the fear brought to me by the disease, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t have friends, let alone girlfriends, at least I won’t have one now.

This kind of negative life is wrong. I understand, and many times we all understand, but how many people treat it positively.

I recalled one thing. Last July, I encountered a pyramid scheme fraud online.

Because I couldn't find a suitable job in reality, I submitted my resume to 58. There was a high-paying job with a driver who was very attractive to me. I tried to add the publisher's WeChat.

I talked to him about my situation and he said: No problem, the job of telling the driver is to record labels and do not require too much communication.

But my work location is in Hangzhou. I read the train tickets on Ctrip.com for more than 200 yuan, and I hesitated.

My brother came back in the afternoon and asked me: Brother, have you found a job?

I said: Found it.

He asked: What job?

I said excitedly: I will follow the driver, 6,000 yuan a month.

He was a little unbelievable: Where is it?

I said: In Hangzhou.

He frowned and said: So far away, haven’t you been to Hangzhou before? You still have to go! The salary is so high, right?

I wanted to refute but didn't know how to refute it. I did go to Hangzhou before, which was an experience that I didn't want to mention. Finally, I called my mother and asked her to send me money. That time it was my brother's money.

In the afternoon, my brother went to work, and I was thinking hard alone in bed, whether to go? I had to buy train tickets online several times. When I saw the price, I thought of what my brother said and then exited the program.

At this moment, the publisher sent me a WeChat message and asked me: Have you bought a good ticket?

When will it arrive?

I'll pick you up.

Three messages in succession, I wondered if it was two days, after all, it was so far and not so fast.

However, what I didn't expect was that he sent a picture and explained that I've prepared the admission notice for you.

I clicked on the picture and saw that it was an admission letter with my name and the company's seal on it.

I laughed and felt relieved in an instant. Recently, because my mother urged me to find a job and couldn't find a suitable job nearby, I believed him after being anxious and tempted by high salary.

Think about it seriously, isn’t this the pyramid scheme that has been reported online recently?

I added him to the blacklist and did not call the police. I was frightened at the time. What if I was really cheated? Online news reports that pyramid scheme scammers live in a floor shop and sleep with more than a dozen people sleeping together, eating chili and rice, and brainwashing them, deceiving their family and friends, and becoming their money-making machine.

I am not very worried about brainwashing. I believe that my thoughts will not be distorted by others. What I am even more afraid of is that more than a dozen people live together. After living alone for a long time, I will inevitably have some obsession with cleanliness.

If possible, I really want to go through it.

I had this idea before, and I had to have rich experience in writing books. I had to go through things I had never done before. I even thought about and did it for crimes in prison, but it was a failure.

2018.4.1, Holidays.

(End of this chapter)
Chapter completed!